life after nursing school...

life after nursing school... i decided to write this blog after i made one of the most difficult decisions in my life---to leave the nursing program in a local community college here in California and move on. How,where and why? i do not know but i will soon find out. I am holding my breath and keeping my fingers crossed. My upper lip stiff.



All i know is that this whole gamut of emotions need to have some proper forum. Like grieving for an old lover or a faithful best friend. We need to bury our "dead" properly. I just need to say one final goodbye, not to the dream...yet but to the place where it all started. Where it came to fruition.



I need to create order in my"current" chaotic life that has followed me while chasing that elusive dream.It has been a roller coaster ride of emotions because with the anticipated knowledge came that poignant enlightenment that things will be difficult.



But i was dead wrong. It became more Difficult because of a million and one things that came to interfere with this dream. Anyone who has been there knows exactly what i am going through right now. I am not quitting because academically i can't do it, but rather i am moving to a new school or even towards a new career because it will be good for me. It will be good for my health, my sanity and my personal relationships. But make no mistake, I have n0 regrets that i went there in the first place,i love the work. I hate the politics and the B.S that came with 'it".

Nursing students know what these words mean..."IT" is the all encompassing word for the unspoken vile that comes with every good situation.



Its the B.S that i hate. and its so full of it, but my faith has not wavered....... yet, i still believe that there are more genuinely good people out there in the academe that will restore my faith in this profession,people who honestly care about their students.



Am i burning my bridges already? nope...just distancing from the place,from the people, from the things that brings out the bitter aftertaste of failure, of resentment. I am just looking at another direction,centering...i needed that clarity and space to focus on the most important thing in my life and that is ME.
11:32:00 AM
by puritajones RN2b
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